Find Joy in Each Day

Part of finding joy in your life is knowing when to step away and breathe. I recently read this “step away” message from Helen Mirren. I am not the type of person who likes to step away or walk away from a problem. I like to work with people to solve things, learn things and move forward. I am learning to let go because, in life, there is very little you can control. You can feel sad, take a moment to deal with the reality of a situation, but then you have to let go. Knowing what is in your control and being able to find gratitude and mental peace in all parts of your life is what is important.

Before you argue with someone, ask yourself, is that person even mentally mature enough to grasp the concept of a different perspective. Because if not, there’s absolutely no point.
Not every argument or situation is worth your energy. Sometimes, no matter how clearly you express yourself or how much you give and support, the other person isn’t listening to understand or grow or consider – they’re listening to react.
They’re stuck in their own perspective, opinion, victim attitude, etc. and unwilling to consider another viewpoint, or take responsibility for their actions or hold themself accountable. Engaging with them at a deeper level only drains you. There’s a difference between a healthy discussion and a pointless debate or putting yourself in the position to be constantly gaslit or blamed.
A conversation with someone who is open-minded, who values growth and understanding, can be enlightening – even if you don’t agree. You see a desire to learn, to listen, to grow as a person, to consider and reflect and even apologize when it is appropriate. But trying to reason with someone who refuses to see beyond their own beliefs or take responsibility for their actions? That’s like talking to a wall. No matter how much logic or truth you present, they will twist, deflect, or dismiss you words, not because you’re wrong, but because they’re unwilling to see another side or truly look at themselves and change.
Maturity isn’t about who wins an argument – it’s about knowing when an argument is worth having. It’s realizing that your mental peace is more valuable than proving a point to someone who has already decided they won’t change their mind, will attack you for your thoughts and ideas and will leave you questioning yourself and feeling like you have done something wrong. You feel bad because you hold yourself accountable, you reflect and you are trying to grow as a person. Not every battle needs to be fought. Not every person deserves your time and not everyone is in a personal space where they can hear constructive criticism or even see how their behaviour is wrong and is hurting others in their path.
Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is walk away – not because you have nothing to say, but because you recognize that some people aren’t ready to listen, reflect, be accountable, take responsibility. And that is not your burden to carry. It is hard when you are trying to make a difference in the world and hold others and yourself accountable, but you can’t change anyone – you can only find your own peace and always be kind, no matter what. You don’t have to let yourself be abused or walked all over or treated disrespectfully – you can put out your boundaries and live your life. You just have to be prepared for the anger and rejection that comes with taking a stand and engaging in self compassion.
– Helen Mirren (with a few additions by me).