Thoughts About Fathers

Fatherhood is a huge challenge. Recently, as I was reading Scott Galloway’s “Notes on Being a Man”, several statements jumped out at me. One is that being a good dad means being good to the mother of your children. Did you raise a son who would insult a woman and then laugh? Why would anyone want to say anything untruthful and degrading about another human being? That does NOT mean that we can’t laugh, joke or, in turn, see each others’ faults and mistakes and call each other on them.

Boys need a male role model. Having your father express and point out your strengths changes everything. Fathers need to stand in the corner of their children’s lives and be mentor, reality check, cheerleader and honest critic. Show kindness and ask for help and be a model of this for others. Part of maturing and becoming a man is learning about gratitude and using that gratitude to create opportunities for others whenever or wherever you can. Pushing yourself toward wealth and status gives you wealth and status, it doesn’t make you a better man.

Being responsible for another human life is terrifying. As a mother, I always feel unprepared for the demands of whatever stage of parenting I am in. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves and sometimes this pressure is actually irrational. You can be good or great at whatever you do by simply taking action, moving forward and letting compassionate empathy guide your decision making.

Facebook and Instagram make us feel that life should always be amazing and fun and that you can maintain the life you had before kids, but I am here to burst that bubble. Parenthood has many days that are not fun. What do you do each day? As Scott Galloway says, “You do what ever is best for the kids!” and tongue-in-cheek he says, “having kids is the best thing you can do that will ruin your life”.

So, on Father’s Day, here’s to all the different dads out there…
– the ones who are struggling, feeling under pressure and worried every day that they are not “cutting” it
– to the ones who are focused on earning a living and giving their children everything they never had
– to those who may be suffering from illness and are terrified of what the future might hold
– to those supporting other dads on their journey
– to those who are staying at home with the kids so that their partner can pursue his/her dreams
– to those who come home from work and immediately look for “what’s next”
– to single dads – to grieving dads – to engaged dads – to dads who are suffering from addiction
– for dads who are just trying to engage, focus on listening and love their kids and enjoy the small moments….and so many more dads.

WE SEE YOU! WE LOVE YOU! WE ARE HERE FOR YOU!